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Man on top is
the most popular sexual position for
lovemaking.It's
sexy, it's comfortable, and it allows the
man to feel dominant and the woman to feel
feminine and receptive to her man –
perhaps even to feel a little like she's
being "taken".Many
women say that man on top sex makes them
feel safe and protected.It's
certainly a good position for intimate
kissing, bodily contact, and looking deeply
into your partner's eyes as you make love.
Besides all this, it's a very easy and
natural way to make love.
In fact, man on top is a sex position
which is ideal for almost everyone: It's
the most straightforward and possibly the
most satisfying position of them all. And
there are many ways to enjoy it.
She says:
I guess I am starting from
the assumption that sex in most positions is
a great thing. What's unique about man on top? I agree that it is a really
comfortable position, especially for women:
we can do the lazy, proverbial "lying on our
backs" thing and enjoy. It is a very
intimate position from a woman's perspective
and very relational. The partners can see
into each other's faces and eyes, which can
be loving and alleviate insecurities for
both partners. The man on top position is
probably where most people start out with
each other. It's safe and culturally
acceptable and reaffirms gender roles for
males and females.
What are the drawbacks of
the man on top? Actually, I think there are
quite a few. Firstly, it restricts
women's pelvic movements and means the
female partner has to be fairly passive.
It's really hard work having to lift
your pelvis off the bed and thrust against gravity and
your man. This translates into you
guys having to do all the physical work
during sex, which can be exhausting and a real
turn-off. What if you want to have sex, but
you're tired from your day at work?
(Answer: don't choose this position). Your
body might be more inclined to give up on
its erection if you are tired and you are
having to be quite active as compared to a
position in which you need less strength.
After all, man on top means you thrust, and
it
also means you need to support your
body weight off the bed for a
prolonged period of time.
Also, man on top doesn't
allow the woman to adjust the angle of her
pelvis much, so she can't direct his
thrusts easily to the areas inside her vagina
where she can feel him best. However, sex in
this position can feel safer for a women due
to her internal anatomy: her lover will
thrust towards the bottom and back of her
vagina and there is less likelihood of his
thrusts touching sensitive areas inside of
her body such as the G-spot or the cervix,
the latter possibly being quite
uncomfortable if she is not psychically
aroused. Of course, if you are into relaxing
and chilling out during sex, man on top is
great (if you are female, that is).
Another major consideration
for the man on top position is that
sustaining eye contact right through can
feel claustrophobic during sex. You may
feel like all your reactions are being watched or
that you have to be constantly emotionally available to your partner rather than being
able to give in to your own physical
sensations. If you're struggling to stay
with your own sense of arousal, eye contact
can be very distracting. Also, it's easy to
notice distraction or insecurity in your
partner's face, which may only be there
temporarily, but which starts to ricochet
between both of you and ends sex all
together.
He says:
Sex
in this position can be slow and relaxed,
or fast and furious, depending on your mood
and how aroused you're feeling. If you fancy
gentle, relaxed lovemaking, you can move
only a little, lying together kissing and
cuddling with just enough movement to keep
his erection firm. Once connected through
the act of penetration, many men and women
experience a sense of fulfilment and
connection that is rewarding to them whether
or not the man thrusts.If
this is a new idea to you, try just lying
still after penetration next time you make
love. If you feel the urge to thrust, choose
instead to lie still, and see if you
experience this sense of intimate
connection. And if you lie still for fifteen
minutes or more you may find that the sexual
energy between you gradually increases -
sometimes to orgasmic levels.
Or
you could try some more unusual movements
instead of pelvic thrusts. For example,
gently rocking on each other as the man lies
on top of his partner rather than all-out
thrusting can produce some wonderful
sensations, and with a bit of trial and
error it's possible to get into a position
during sex where the man's pubic bone
stimulates the woman's clitoris. Another
interesting variation is to move your hips
in a circular pattern rather than to thrust
in and out: this can feel wonderful!And
since the vagina is most sensitive nearest
its outer edges, shallow penetration in
which the man inserts his penis an inch or
two and then withdraws again before
re-entering to the same depth can be very
teasing and enjoyable. It's also extremely
pleasurable for a man if his partner can use
her vaginal muscles to squeeze his penis as
it rests inside her.
She says:
Even in the man on top
position, which doesn't allow for a lot of
movement and sounds quite fixed, you can
experiment a bit. Both man and woman can
play with the angle of their hips and the
force with which they connect as well as
with full body contact and stillness. Try
tipping or rotating your pelvis and see what
happens. Also, feel free to use your
hands too! Both male and female partners can
easily reach either their own or each other's
sexual parts as well as hips, buttocks, anus
and breasts - this adds quite a bit of extra
stimulation. Man on top can also be a
position that can contain a lot of
energy between the two of you.
Because
both of you are held together by gravity you
can really have a go at pushing into each
other and using a lot of energy to connect
with each other.
Man
on top sex illustrated
He says:
If
you're thinking, "Well, what is there
to illustrate?" the answer is this:
while we all tend to find one position we
like and stick to it, there are many
variations of the man on top position, all
of which give you a slightly different
experience during sex. Some of these you'll
really enjoy, some of them will be less
intense for you: no two couples are quite
alike when it comes to lovemaking.
Click
on any sex position picture to enlarge it
Even
in what most people would think of as the
basic man on top positions, there can be
immense variations in the sensations for
each partner. How high does the man support
himself? Maybe he even lies on her, if she
likes this pressure. Does he have his legs
inside or outside hers? If he has them
inside, she will be easily receptive to him
at the moment of penetration - but if she
keeps her legs more closely together, her
vagina will be tighter, and the sensations
will be much more intense for them both.
That may make him reach orgasm more quickly.
How high does she raise her legs? In
general, the deeper she raises them, the
deeper he can penetrate. That may be more or
less enjoyable for each of them, depending
on all kinds of things - how well-endowed he
is, how relaxed and aroused she is, whether
she actually likes deep penetration, and so
on.
She says:
I really agree here with
Rod. Don't get too cosy with the man on top
position and what you might consider as
routine sex. Try things out, even in this
position. There is a lot of scope for
flexibility. Try different positions for
your legs and bodies and see how it affects
your sexual experience.
He says:
One
of the greatest pleasures of sex can be the
fulfilment of deep penetration. Not only
can this feel wonderful, but it can make a
couple feel very emotionally connected.
Sure, the emotional experience of deep
penetration is going to be different for a
man and a woman, but it does seem to fulfil
some very deep and primal instinctual needs
for both sexes. The deepest penetration in
man on top sex is achieved when a woman is
positioned lying back with her legs raised.Fast
and deep thrusting, which is easy in this
position, can be very rewarding for both
partners, especially if the angle of a man's penis and his
partner's vagina are
such that his erection rubs on her G-spot as
he thrusts.
She says:
It's odd really that our
sexual anatomies are so different: men I
guess will experience the greatest stimulation
at the tip of their penis (so I am told) and
deep thrusting makes sense for that.
Women on the other hand feel most sensation in the
outer third of their vagina, as well as their vulva
and clitoris, so deep thrusting may or may
not be special to a woman. However, some women get turned on if the cervix
deep inside their vagina is stimulated
during sex, and others experience contractions
around the uterus during orgasm.
He says:
The
G-spot is a sensitive area of tissue on the
upper wall of the vagina about an inch or
two inside.Men
whose erect penis curves upwards will be
especially able to stimulate their partner's G-spot when making love in the
man on top position.
(Other men may find it easier to
stimulate the G-spot during rear entry sex.) And
it's certainly possible for some
women to reach a vaginal orgasm through
G-spot stimulation alone, though usually
this will require a fairly prolonged period
of thrusting by her partner.Unfortunately
sex in the man on top position tends to make
many men come quite quickly: the deep pelvic
thrusting, the deep penetration, and the
excitement of seeing his penis thrusting
into his partner's body - all of these
things can cause a man to ejaculate quite
quickly.
Sometimes
it's a bit easier and more comfortable for a
couple if they place a pillow under her
hips. This lifts her pelvis slightly and
allows the man more freedom of movement. He
can pull her onto him, thrust deeply, and,
if he is kneeling, touch her clitoris and
vulva if she finds this arousing. Men, of
course, are very visual, and take great
pleasure in watching lovemaking. With a
little ingenuity, it's possible to do this
too (as in the second photo below).
She says:
If you think about the
mechanics of it, I think it's fairly obvious
that man on top isn't the best position to
stimulate a woman's G-spot as this isn't
where his pressure is directed. On the
other hand women's G-spots are very
variable so each woman needs to discover what works best for her.
What's not so good about the man on top
position is that the woman has so little
room for movement and therefore will find it
hard to direct his thrusting to the right
place inside of her. To stimulate her
G-spot, it would make sense for her to have
her legs on the inside of his as she can then use
them to squeeze him tight and increase
the pressure and sensations for both of them.
I take the point about men being very visual
and getting turned on by the view in front
of them as well as the sensations they're
experiencing. I'm not sure
many women think about that sort of thing.
He says:
By
shifting his position so that his angle of
penetration changes slightly, as shown
below, the man's penis will touch different
parts of his partner's vagina as he thrusts,
which can be very exciting for her.
Simply
thrusting in the same angle and direction
can sometimes become a bit boring for her!
She says:
Yeah, I agree! However, I
hope you guys don't feel like you need to
take all the responsibility for making it
work for her. She can move around too
you know!
He says:
The
higher a woman raises her legs, the deeper
the penetration. But if you're a man who's
particularly well-endowed, do take care to
ensure that you don't accidentally bang your
penis against your partner's cervix; this
can be very uncomfortable for her.
She says:
I don't think you are really able
to judge as a guy whether
you may be touching her cervix and whether
that's uncomfortable for her. Yes, it would
probably be uncomfortable for some, maybe
most, women if that happened, but then again
some really like it. It also depends how
physiologically turned on her body is,
because her uterus will contract and move
out of the way if she is. And I guess we'd
have to have a discussion about what
"well-endowed" really means. All I can say
is:
guys, don't try and mind-read, leave it to
her to shift into a more comfortable
position if you happen to touch her cervix
during penetration. One tilt of her hips
and your thrusts will be directed towards a
different area of her vagina.
He says:
If
the man sits upright a couple can kiss and
hold each other in a close embrace.It's
also possible for them to physically move
his partner on his penis, and this can give
them both extra pleasure.
As
we said above, when a man kneels in front of
his partner they can both touch her
clitoris, which gives her as well as him a
good chance of reaching orgasm during sexual
intercourse. Does
this have to be a simultaneous orgasm? No,
of course not. In fact, it's usually easier
for the couple to bring the woman to orgasm
first with clitoral play and for her man to
follow on. For although much has been
said about simultaneous orgasm, trying to
co-ordinate your lovemaking so you both
reach orgasm at the same time can take you
away from the sheer physical pleasure of the
sex and start you thinking too much about
what's happening.
She says:
Yeah, let's just forget
about this whole simultaneous orgasm myth.
Trying to co-ordinate that could put
anybody off sex!
He says:
But
even so, if you do come together, it can be
a wonderful experience. A good way of
getting there is for a couple to time his
thrusts so that he reaches orgasm at the
same time as his partner.They
can do this if either he or she plays with
her clitoris until she's on the edge of
orgasm. At the same time the man can slow
down his thrusting until she begins to come.With a few hard thrusts she may tip
over the edge into orgasm, and the
contractions of her vaginal and pelvic
muscles are very likely to send him over the
edge so they enjoy a more-or-less
simultaneous orgasm.
She says:
I see you do intend to work
hard at this simultaneous orgasm thing! Feel
free to let it all go, which makes sex much
simpler and less performance-orientated for
both people involved.
He says:
One
disadvantage of sex in the man on top
position is that the woman's freedom to
move her pelvis is somewhat limited.Certainly
the powerful thrusts she can make during,
say, rear entry sex, are not possible when
she's lying on her back, especially if her
man is lying full length on top of her.Nonetheless,
the extensive skin to skin contact, the fact
that she can caress her man's back, chest,
balls and buttocks, while he can kiss her,
play with her breasts and touch her
clitoris, all add hugely to the pleasure of
man on top sex.
The
sensations that each partner feels in this
position depend to a large extent on the
tightness of the woman's vagina. Most
women enjoy man on top sex with their legs
rather wide apart - after all, that makes
penetration easy and the man can lie between
them. But it's also possible for a woman
to keep her legs closer together, and in
fact you may find you both prefer the sex if
she does so. This usually tightens the
vagina, and so increases the intensity of
the sensations for both partners.
Unfortunately the increased sensations and
the increased pressure on a man's penis
may make him ejaculate quite quickly.
She says:
Still seems a good idea for
most women to increase the pressure and with
it the intensity of sensations she feels in
her vagina by closing her legs. It could
be a good combination for her
to have her legs closed to increase
intensity, and for him to thrust very slowly
or not at all. A woman can then
experiment with contracting her vaginal and
pelvic floor muscles to squeeze the man's
penis gently. Some women are said to be able
to bring their lovers to orgasm just by
doing that. While I'm sure that's true, it may
take a very dedicated woman to exercise her
pelvic floor muscles to the point
where they are strong enough for her to be
able to do that. If you want to try have a
look at the
Kegel exercises.
He says:
Another
interesting variation is the "upside
down man on top" sex position - a kind
of rear entry while lying down. This can be
very pleasurable for the man, who has a
gorgeous view of his partner's buttocks, but
unless the woman can play with her clitoris
as they make love, it may be unfulfilling
for her - unless she enjoys the sensation of
her man lying on top of her!
She says:
One benefit of this position
is that she has both hands free and she can
do whatever
she enjoys with them.
He says:
There
are times in every sexual relationship when
a man will want to take a slightly more
passive role rather than being the one to
lead and initiate.Woman
on top sex, which we look at next, is a
great way for a woman to be more dominant
during a couple's lovemaking.
Well,
this is the basic bread and butter of sex.
It's easy, romantic and can be satisfying
for both partners. The pros and cons:
Pros
He says:
It
allows full body contact, the partners can
look into each other's eyes and kiss, and
the man can thrust deeply into his partner -
which is a very fulfilling feeling for most
men. And with slight variations of position,
the angle of his penis in her vagina will
change, so that both he and she can get many
different feelings from the same basic
position. It can also be fulfilling for a
man to feel he is in the dominant position
during lovemaking. (And of course his
partner may like the feeling of being
penetrated by her man while he is in the
dominant position.)
It's
certainly a very romantic and loving
position, with the possibility of eye
contact and full body contact. Both partners
can feel very connected and intimate.
Man
on top sex offers the opportunity for
kissing, intimacy, and either vigorous or
gentle sex.It's
rewarding for both partners, and if you move
your hips in a slightly different way you
can enjoy new and exciting sensations.As
the woman raises her legs, the angle of
penetration changes, and so does the
tightness of her vagina.
She says:
Sexy and relaxing for women.
Full body and eye contact can feel romantic
and intimate. She has a chance to look at
him and enjoy the views.
Cons
He says:
The
woman may not be able to move her hips as
much as in other positions, which may mean
she cannot thrust as she would like to. And
because it's generally not a good idea to
squash your partner while you're making
love, the man has to hold his weight on his
elbows or hands. This can be tiring and
produce some muscle strain. In turn, the
fact that the man is not as relaxed as he
might be tends to make him ejaculate
prematurely. So, for that matter, do the
deep thrusts he can make. It isn't,
therefore, the best position for premature
ejaculators. And women sometimes find it
difficult to reach orgasm in the missionary,
either because their clitoris doesn't get
enough stimulation or because her lover
comes before she's had enough vaginal
thrusting to produce an orgasm.
Perhaps
the only major disadvantage of man on top
sex is the need for the man to support his
weight, since this can be tiring on his
arms.
She says:
Not much room to move or be active. His
thrusts are directed towards the more
insensitive parts of her sexual anatomy
(vaginal floor and deep interior). Constant
eye contact can feel overwhelming. Men might
take too much responsibility for sex in this
position rather than getting their lovers
involved and active. Apart from
sex-as-a-nightcap, it can be rather boring.
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