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Psychosexual problems for men

A female view of penis size

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As a woman I am on one hand always astounded to hear how important penis size is to many men. In comparison to everything else a man can offer to a woman, such as love, a fit body, passion, affection, support, physical contact, companionship, etc. etc., penis size is completely irrelevant to women.

 

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 When You Make Love?

 

 

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On the other hand, I am very aware how women can do the same thing to themselves as men do with their penises. In other words, a woman might say: my boobs are too small, big, floppy, or my bum is too big, small, spotty, or my face is too.... The list is endless. Why should men be any better off? From a women's point of view, it seems odd to worry most about a body part of yourself others normally can't even see! Women have a much harder time hiding their breasts, bottoms or faces and we may feel like we are perpetually on display. But a man's penis only really comes into view once there is some sort of a relationship between owner and onlooker, or a level of passion (or alcohol), which overrides most inhibitions. So why are men so bothered about their size?

 

Of course, I know the practical reasons: how men compete with each other and how penis size becomes a status symbol. I don't know what is going on in male teenagers' locker rooms, but I can imagine it might not be all that supportive. Men seem to identify so much with their penises, so much so that small size may seem like a real burden or proof of inadequacy as a person or as a man.

From a female perspective, picking out your penis size to feel inadequate about, from all the things a man could pick about himself, really makes no sense at all. Penis size has got nothing to do with being a good lover. Yes, a bigger sized penis may give a greater sense of fullness during penetration to some women, but it may scare as many women as it turns on! Also, there are many more sensations involved in good sex than the ones coming in through the vaginal walls. Overall body contact is very stimulating to women during sex, as is kissing, touching the clitoris or buttocks, breasts, face and so on. I think it would be very hard for most women to pick out any extra sensations they might get from a bigger penis after the first penetration from all the other sensations they experience during sex.

 

Additionally, women tend to experience most sensations inside their vaginas through the G-spot, an area not too far into the vagina. Any size of penis will slide past the G-spot and stimulate it, so there aren't any bonuses for having a big one there! Additionally, stronger sensations are created when the penis is angled in such a way that the head pushes against the G-spot during thrusting. In this way the G-spot receives maximum stimulation through the force of thrusting, which is often great fun for women. To achieve this, penis size is completely irrelevant, but experience and communication with your partner are important. (You may be wondering how you could know what is the right angle? The answer's simple: ask her!)

 

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Finally, as Rod has mentioned, penetrative sex isn't everything that it's made out to be for women anyway. Quite often, women will have a better time with oral sex or mutual masturbation. Here, smaller sizes can be a bonus as giving oral sex to a man gets easier with smaller sizes. And, should you be into anal sex, your partner may be a lot more interested if you are smaller for obvious reasons (it's easier and less uncomfortable to accommodate a small penis in the anus than a large one). Big sizes could really put her (or him) off anal sex! There are plenty of reasons to be satisfied with a smaller sized organ!

 

Of course, women's views or the facts about penis size may not stop a man feeling inadequate about his size. However, the issue then is about self-esteem, masculinity and other psychological issues. Please do not blame your penis for what you think about yourself! Psychological things like how you feel about yourself can be changed! How much better to make some peace with all of your body, to accept and love yourself, so that you're emotionally available to your partner, rather than obsessing about your penis (which doesn't even matter that much to her!). For more help on psychological matters, start by reading about psychology of relationships. And a book which may help men is by Bernie Zilbergeld, published in 1999 by Bantam, and titled "The New Male Sexuality." Bantam. It's an excellent book on sex and masculinity. Maybe you should read it?

 

Written by Anna 01.03.2007

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