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As a woman I am on one hand
always astounded to hear how important penis
size is to many men. In comparison to
everything else a man can offer to a woman,
such as love, a fit body, passion,
affection, support, physical contact,
companionship, etc. etc.,
penis size is
completely irrelevant to women.
On the other hand, I am very
aware how women can do the same thing to
themselves as men do with their penises.
In other words, a woman might say: my boobs are too
small, big, floppy, or my bum is too big,
small, spotty, or my face is too.... The
list is endless. Why should men be any
better off? From a women's point of view,
it seems odd to worry most about a body part
of yourself others normally can't even see!
Women have a
much harder time hiding their breasts,
bottoms or faces and we may feel like we are
perpetually on display. But a man's penis
only really comes into view once there is
some sort of a relationship between owner
and onlooker, or a level of passion (or
alcohol), which overrides most inhibitions.
So why are men so bothered about their
size?
Of course, I know the
practical reasons: how men compete with each
other and how penis size becomes a status
symbol. I don't know what is going on in
male teenagers' locker rooms, but I can
imagine it might not be all that supportive.
Men seem to identify so much with their
penises, so much so that small size may seem like a real
burden or proof of inadequacy as a person or
as a man.
From a female perspective,
picking out your penis size to feel
inadequate about, from all the things a man
could pick about himself, really makes no
sense at all. Penis size has got nothing
to do with being a good lover. Yes, a
bigger sized penis may give a greater sense
of fullness during
penetration to some women, but it may scare
as many women as it turns on! Also, there
are many more sensations involved in
good
sex than the ones coming in through the
vaginal walls. Overall body contact is very
stimulating to women during sex, as is
kissing, touching the clitoris or buttocks,
breasts, face and so on. I think it would be
very hard for most women to pick out any
extra sensations they might get from a
bigger penis after the first penetration from
all the other sensations they experience
during sex.
Additionally, women tend to
experience most sensations inside their
vaginas through the
G-spot, an area not too far into the
vagina. Any size of penis will slide past the
G-spot and stimulate it, so there aren't any bonuses for
having a big one there! Additionally, stronger
sensations are created when the penis is
angled in such a way that the head pushes against
the G-spot during thrusting. In this way the
G-spot receives maximum stimulation through
the force of thrusting, which is often
great fun for women. To achieve this, penis size is
completely irrelevant, but experience
and communication with your partner are
important.
(You may be wondering how you could know
what is the right angle? The answer's
simple: ask her!)
Finally,
as Rod has
mentioned, penetrative sex isn't everything
that it's made out to be for women anyway.
Quite often, women will have a better time
with oral sex or mutual masturbation. Here,
smaller sizes can be a bonus as giving
oral sex to a man gets easier with smaller
sizes. And, should you be into anal sex,
your partner may be a lot more interested if
you are smaller for obvious reasons (it's
easier and less uncomfortable to accommodate
a small penis in the anus than a large one). Big
sizes could really put her (or him) off anal
sex!
There are plenty of reasons to be satisfied
with a
smaller sized organ!
Of course, women's views or
the facts about penis size may not stop a
man feeling inadequate about his size.
However, the issue then is about self-esteem, masculinity and other psychological
issues. Please do not blame your penis
for what you think about yourself!
Psychological things like how you feel about
yourself can be changed! How much better to make some peace with all
of your body, to accept and love yourself, so
that you're emotionally available to your
partner, rather than obsessing about your
penis (which doesn't even matter that much
to her!). For more help on psychological
matters, start by reading about
psychology of relationships. And a book
which may help men is by Bernie Zilbergeld,
published in 1999 by Bantam, and titled "The
New Male Sexuality." Bantam. It's an
excellent book on sex and masculinity. Maybe
you should read it?
