Michelle has sent us the following text.
Sex-and-relationships.com takes no
responsibility for the accuracy of
the statements made in Michelle's account,
but we wholeheartedly support her cause.
It is important that people
know about herpes, because genital herpes is
one of the most common sexually transmitted
diseases in the United States, with as many
as one million people in the United States
becoming infected each year.
Herpes is a very common virus with
an unfair stigma, in part because the
symptoms are “down there”, and many people
associate someone who has a sexually
transmitted infection (STI), as sexually
irresponsible or promiscuous. I got herpes
after having been intimate only one time
with the man I was engaged to. A woman I
know got herpes after having been raped.
There are people out there who got herpes
during birth when their mother had genital
herpes. There are people out there who get
herpes from a spouse or partner who did not
know it, or perhaps got it themselves
because they were unfaithful.
All of that does not matter
though, beyond letting people know that
genital herpes is not simply a disease of
sexual promiscuity or irresponsibility. You
can get herpes from your partner after only
one time...as I did.
"Sure, genital herpes is an
infection and it's sexually transmitted, but
with good treatment and safe sex practices,
it should attract no more emotional response
than its cousin, the cold sore...It's tragic
that the same virus can cause so much
emotional upset simply depending on what
part of the body it affects. A cold sore
near the mouth is considered a nuisance, but
genital herpes can affect people's whole way
of viewing themselves and others. I know
people who deliberately avoid establishing
close relationships rather than discussing
genital herpes with a new partner. These
people are often unaware that good treatment
options exist, but are too embarrassed to
talk to their doctor or get a proper
diagnosis." - Dr. Sally Cockburn
Testing for genital herpes is
not part of a standard screen when you are
being tested for Sexually Transmitted
Infections (STI’s). So a person might get
test results that indicate they do not have
an STI, when in fact, they very well might.
What a lot of people do not
realize is that 25% of all Americans have
genital herpes. That's a little over 73
million people. Out of that number, only 2%
actually KNOW they have genital herpes.
This is one of the reasons it
is so easy to get genital herpes.
Oftentimes, people do not know they are
having an outbreak because the symptoms are
so mild and symptomatic. In men: jock itch,
hemorrhoids, irritation from tight jeans,
condom allergy. In women: yeast infection,
heat rash, allergy to condoms/sperm/spermicide/pantyhose,
shaving, douching). In other cases, people
can transmit the virus asymptomatically,
which means they are not having an active
outbreak, but the virus is on the surface of
the skin.
There are important health
reasons for needing to know your HSV (Herpes
simplex virus) status,
one of which has to do with HIV
transmission.
People who have sex with
someone who has HIV, are three times as
likely to acquire HIV if they have an active
herpes simplex outbreak, than those who
don't have the virus. That
combination makes people more vulnerable to
HIV, in fact three times more vulnerable than a
person in the same sexual situation who
does not have HSV2.
Many people do not realize
that cold sores are in fact oral herpes, and
that you can give oral herpes, HSV-1, to a
person in their genital region if you
perform oral sex on them. This is why HSV-1
is becoming more common in the genitals.
Alternately, the virus that causes genital
herpes, HSV-2 can be transmitted to your
mouth if you give oral sex to someone who has
genital herpes, or vice versa. Either type
of the virus can reside in either area of
the body, on it's own, or together, and
infect orally and/or genitally.
In other words, you can have
HSV-1, generally associated with cold
sores/oral herpes genitally, and HSV-2
orally.
You can get genital herpes,
even if you use condoms, as you may have an
outbreak or asymptomatic shedding in an area
not covered by the condom. I do not mean to
scare people, but rather encourage people to
get tested and be sexually responsible.
People need to know that the
stigma surrounding genital herpes is not the
truth, and having genital herpes is not the
end of the world Herpes is treatable and
manageable.
It is possible to date and
marry people who do not have genital herpes.
Current prescription treatments may lessen
the possibility of transmitting genital
herpes to a partner who does not have
genital herpes, if the medication is taken
as prescribed.
I have dated men with and
without herpes, in the five years since I
was diagnosed. There has only been one time
when someone chose not to continue a dating
relationship after we discussed my HSV-2
status. There are places for people who have
genital herpes to go if they wish to date,
or simply be friends with other people who
have genital herpes. Meet People With H (MPWH.net)
has over 54,000 members and is a great
social and support community.
