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Sex topics


Virginity and beyond


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These pages are a collection of articles and writings on virginity, including what you might expect to happen when you lose your virginity.


Basically, a virgin is a man or woman who has not yet had sexual intercourse with another person. Unfortunately, this definition is a bit vague! A person may not have experienced sexual intercourse yet, but may have a very active sex life with their partner through kissing, mutual masturbation and oral sex. Whether this person could still be considered a virgin is open to debate!


Virginity is an immensely political topic. In the past, Western society has placed an absolute demand on women to be virgins prior to marriage. This is still the case in many societies around the globe today, as well as in some religious subcultures in the West. This expectation of virginity tends to be sexist as it only applies to women, but normally not to men. Within a patriarchal framework (that's where men run the society you live in) the virginity of a woman before marriage may have been seen as important to make sure the sons of the marriage were really the husband's children. And of course taking a virgin as a wife protects a man's ego about his sexual performance as his wife can't compare him to anybody else.


We need to be clear here: we think it's completely unacceptable for someone to be forced to do something sexually that they don't wish to do - and that includes staying a virgin until you get married. In our view, given that someone has reached a certain age (often sixteen by law in many countries) it's oppressive and unacceptable to tell them what they should be doing sexually.


We think that everybody has the right to decide on their own sexual expression as long as they respect their own health and emotional limits and the wishes and limits of their sexual partners, who must be old and mature enough to consent and take responsibility for what's happening.


We hope that our collected topics will support you in making your own choices about when and with whom to lose your virginity. On the other hand we also want to support anybody, who does not feel ready yet so that he or she does not feel pressurized to just go along with things. Your sexual expression is a human right. It is yours to decide upon.

However, if you are living in a culture, which suggests that you need to stay a virgin we hope that you make an informed choice about your sexual expression with due consideration for your own protection.


Pages on virginity:


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