These
pages are a collection of articles and
writings on virginity, including what you
might expect to happen when you lose your
virginity.
Basically, a virgin is a man or woman
who has not yet had sexual intercourse
with another person. Unfortunately, this
definition is a bit vague! A person may not
have experienced sexual intercourse yet, but
may have a very active sex life with their
partner through kissing, mutual masturbation
and oral sex. Whether this person could
still be considered a virgin is open to
debate!
Virginity
is an immensely political topic. In the
past, Western society has placed an absolute
demand on women to be virgins prior to
marriage. This is still the case in many
societies around the globe today, as well as
in some religious subcultures in the West.
This expectation of virginity tends to be
sexist as it only applies to women, but
normally not to men. Within a
patriarchal framework (that's where men run
the society you live in) the virginity of a
woman before marriage may have been seen as
important to make sure the sons of the
marriage were really the husband's children.
And of course taking a virgin as a wife protects a
man's ego about his sexual performance
as his wife can't compare him to
anybody else.
We need to be
clear here: we think it's completely
unacceptable for someone to be forced to do
something sexually that they don't wish to
do - and that includes staying a virgin
until you get married. In our view, given that
someone has reached a certain age (often
sixteen by law in many countries) it's
oppressive and unacceptable to tell them
what they should be doing sexually.
We think that
everybody has the right to decide on their
own sexual expression as long as they
respect their own health and emotional
limits and the wishes and limits of their
sexual partners, who must be old and mature
enough to consent and take responsibility
for what's happening.
We hope that
our collected topics will support you in
making your own choices about when and with
whom to lose your virginity. On the other
hand we also want to support anybody, who
does not feel ready yet so that he or she
does not feel pressurized to just go along
with things. Your sexual expression is a
human right. It is yours to decide upon.
However,
if you are living in a culture, which
suggests that you need to stay a virgin we
hope that you make an informed choice about
your sexual expression with due
consideration for your own protection.
