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Side by side sex positions

Main points:

  • Side by side sex is great for men who wish to learn how to control PE - because most men can thrust for much longer before ejaculating in this sexual position.

  • It's less tiring for both partners as neither has to support their own weight.

  • Side by side sex can be very arousing. If you are in a chest to back "spoons position" the guy has full view of his lover's bottom. If the man leans on one elbow the position starts to resemble rear entry sex.

  • When her legs are closed she will be able to really squeeze his penis using her vaginal muscles and her thighs.

  • Side by side sex facing each other can be the pinnacle of relaxed and loving sex.

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He says:

One of the great things about sex is the endless variety of positions and techniques to be discovered. Man on top sex offers the opportunity for kissing, intimacy, and either vigorous or gentle sex. It's rewarding for both partners, and if you move your hips in a slightly different way you can enjoy new and exciting sensations. As the woman raises her legs, the angle of penetration changes, and so does the tightness of her vagina. Perhaps the only disadvantage of man on top sex is the need for the man to support his weight, since this can be tiring on his arms. If you do get tired, an easy option is to move into the side by side sex positions.  

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Side by side sex can be either spooning, where the man lies behind his partner as he penetrates her, or face to face. The spoons position is highly suited to gentle and loving sex, and because it reduces friction on the penis, many men find they can last much longer before they ejaculate. That's especially true when a couple lie on their sides facing each other. These positions allow both partners to revel in their sexuality and enjoy extended lovemaking. And because sex goes on for a long time, both partners are likely to enjoy a powerful orgasm.

She says:

Side by side sex can be very arousing. If you are in a spoons position the guy has full view of his lover's bottom. You can use your hands to touch, caress and hold her. Additionally you can also lean on one elbow in which case the position starts to resemble rear entry sex. For her this can be more connecting than rear entry sex as she is still to some extend alongside his body, at least at the start. Therefore, this position allows the couple to start off from a more gentle, romantic and connected position side by side, but then move into a very sexy set up once sexual tension starts to increase. Additionally, if the two of you get really excited, she can brace herself easily as her full body is lying on its side as compared to when she is on her hands and knees in rear entry sex.

Some points about the side by side sex position:

  • It can be harder for a guy with a shorter penis to have fun.

  • It allows her to regulate the depth of thrusting easily, which means there is much less chance that she might get uncomfortable due to him touching her cervix internally with the tip of his penis when she isn't fully aroused.

  • It's much easier for her to tease him.

  • When she has her legs closed she can put a lot of pressure on the whole shaft of his penis with her thighs and vaginal muscles.

  • You have to put more effort into pushing against each other than if you are on top of each other.

  • It's great for controlling rapid orgasm in men

  • I strongly advise you to get help for any medical issues which might be interfering with your enjoyment of sex. High on my own list of bugbears is gout, which is so painful that it takes away any sense of sexual arousal. This is what you need to discover how to control gout and how to reduce the intensity of the symptoms by changing your diet.

He says:

When you're in a more gentle, loving mood, the side by side positions can be just what you need for a romantic session of lovemaking. Easy access to her clitoris means a woman's orgasm can be easier to achieve than in some of the more conventional positions like man on top or even rear entry.

She says:

On the other hand, in a side by side position where you face each other it can also be quite hard to reach her clitoris as you are close together and it may be impossible to bend your wrists enough to reach. However, if the male partner is behind the female you will have good access to her body, but she won't have to his.


He says:

Variations on the side by side positions centre on the position of the woman's legs. Once again, each couple can experiment to find out just what is most enjoyable for them. The sight of penetration is something that many men find highly arousing, and often a slight adjustment to a more conventional position can provide this added thrill. Sometimes reaching orgasm is not easy for a woman during intercourse, so this is one way of increasing her pleasure by extending sex. There is much more advice on how to make sex a mutually pleasurable experience on this site which is devoted to ensuring that the woman knows how to pleasure the man, and that the man knows how to control his ejaculation during intercourse.

She says:

Keep in mind that when her legs are closed she will be able to really squeeze his penis using her vaginal muscles and her thighs. This normally increases the intensity of sensation for the woman dramatically, even though it might really slow down her partner's thrusting.


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Side by side sex positions summary

He says:


It's great for premature ejaculators - most men can last much longer in this position. The depth of penetration and the depth of hip thrusts he can make are limited, but the position is no less fulfilling for that. The couple can look into each other's eyes, kiss, fondle breasts and chest, back and buttocks, and reach down to play with her clit, his testicles and penis. All in all, a very intimate and romantic position.

She says:

You can always go for the side by side spooning position if you want to have all the advantages of side by side sex, but much more lust.


He says:


It can be tricky getting into this position. The best way is to start in the man on top sex position and roll over onto your sides. If she has one of her legs under his, as in the picture above, she may get a bit uncomfortable. You could try placing one of her legs between his legs, and have her other leg over the top of his upper leg. See the pictures above.

She says:

This is more a point from the woman's perspective: it's a good position for you to initiate sex, for example by wriggling up with your back alongside your guy. See how long he can resist your bottom moving against his groin!



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