If
you're a man and
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orgasm or ejaculating,
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Sex - where do we start?
If you see a
relationship as a dance between two partners
where each partner is listening to a
different tune and rhythm, and dancing
according to a different set of steps, then
good sex might be seen as trying to do the
same while riding an elemental thunderstorm
and expecting to have a great time!
Sex can be
wonderful, but having wonderful sex can be
hard work and difficult. People often expect
something as instinctual as sex just to
"happen naturally" in a fulfilling way, but
we aren't just rabbits. We are human beings,
and as such we carry our good and bad
memories of relationships and sex, our
ability (or lack of ability) to trust and
let go, our current stresses about work, the
kids and the world as a whole, our issues in
the relationship with the person we're
having sex with, and so on, into our sexual
encounters.
The list of
influences which interfere with our ability
to have natural, fulfilling sex is long and
complicated. Don't be naive and just expect
sex to be earth shattering and fully
satisfying without working at it. It isn't
like that. Sex is a great thing. When it
works it has the capacity to relax us, to
let us meet another person truly and deeply,
and to lift us out of our isolation into a
spiritual, ecstatic, passionate level beyond
normal living. Sex can be fun, a great thing
to be shared and enjoyed. It strengthens and
deepens our relationships and endows some
relationships with exclusiveness and a
special kind of bond.
Sex also
satisfies our inbuilt need for contact,
closeness and the release of our sexual
energies. And sex can be powerful,
passionate, steamy and consuming.
This website has hundreds of
high quality photos
and downloadable
videos of sex
positions as well as
loads of exciting
tips, tricks and
techniques. In fact,
all the secrets of
great sex are here!
View it with your
partner now, and
you'll be having
your best sex ever - tonight!
Unfortunately, sex has also been repressed, marginalized, condemned and abused for a long time. And whatever your sexual orientation, gender issues will influence how you see yourself and your partner as sexual beings. Power and sex don't go together very well, but they are inextricably linked through gender politics, history and culture. All these historical leftovers mean that most people start on their sexual journey with too little information, and possibly also with rather bad experiences in tow. Additionally, as a society we still don't talk about sex with each other, with our partners, our children, or our friends. Sex is often either romanticized and devoid of all passion or it is passionate and hot but disconnected from relationships. This can result in objectification of the other person.
I would like to invite you to take stock of your sex life first, and what you want it to be like. Then you or you and your partner can decide what you want to work on to improve your sex life and the sexual aspects of your relationships.
To do some daydreaming, click here: Sex - and how it could be!
Or you could navigate through our website using the following main headings:
1 Sex: the facts
2 Good sex: what to expect
3 Problems, problems, problems
4 Sex and relationships: why does it get so difficult for you?
Before I finish this introduction let me say one more thing on the power and passion of sex.
Sex is an incredibly strong force. It is much older than we are as a species. It connects us again with elemental forces in our lives which we may quite like to forget. Sex breaks down our personal defenses and personality structure, even if only for a brief period, but in doing so it can be greatly disturbing and powerful. Sex loses its core energy if we tame it or try and contain it. It becomes dead and boring. Sex is therefore often a force which is opposite to our tendencies for security and stability in relationships: in fact, sex and stability co-exist in a strange balance. And sex is somewhat like a living being which needs continuous attention, love and energy.
If you think you have finally arrived at a stable and good sex life, think again! A stable and repetitive sex life will rapidly lead to the death of your desire and terminal boredom.
The other side of this is that sex is a powerful force towards personal growth. It propels us from childhood into adulthood and lets us leave the (hopefully) safe environment of our families of origin behind. It demands that we strike out into the world, taking risks and finding a mate. Working on your sexual development both individually and in a relationship is a great way to increase your sense of connectedness and your energy and passion for life.
I urge you not to close down this area of your life and soul (nor to let it stay closed): to do so would mean leaving a lot of yourself behind on your journey through life.
Read more about how to
increase your sensuality.
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